Our Top Dos and Don’ts of Wedding Toasts!

As a wedding planner, I’ve heard some really wonderful toasts, and then others that have  left both the couple and their guests feeling very uncomfortable. We quickly realized that we needed to do something about this, so we put together the below Dos and Don’ts to send to all of our couples prior to the wedding day.  Our hope would be that they share these tips with everyone who is planning on saying a few words the day of their wedding, this way, we can all enjoy happy and heartwarming weddings toasts moving forward! Let’s get started with the wedding toast dos. 


1. Keep it short! We recommend anywhere between 2-4 minutes.
A successful wedding has a great flow and timing is everything.  Don’t delay dancing or a meal being served because your speech is 10 minutes long. The best toasts are ones that are short and sweet!
2. Acknowledge and thank those who particularly were helpful in making the day special, especially both sets of parents.
3. You’ll want to introduce yourself and how you know each other.
Again, keep this portion brief, but this would be the time to tell a story of how you met or reminisce on the couples earlier years.
4. Remember to speak to both members of the couple.
Here are a few ideas:
-Share the first time you remember your friend calling you to speak of their new crush
-The first memory of you spending time with them as a couple
-What you love most about them as a couple
-What qualities they bring out in each other 
5. Do always end the speech on a positive note and by asking fellow guests to raise their glasses and toast to the couple! 
6.When your speech is completed, ask yourself, “are there both moments where the couple will laugh and moments where they may cry?”. If so, then you have a well balanced speech. The best speeches have guests both laughing and grabbing the tissues!


1. Drink too much. This never turns out well, I promise!
2. Hope for the best and just wing it.  There are very few people in this world who have a talent for words and public speaking. This doesn’t mean you have to stare down at your piece of paper, but we do encourage you to have spent time thinking about your speech and have notes written down. 
Pro tip – print your speech in a much larger font than normal! It’ll be easier to read!
2. Consider this as your time to roast the couple. This is not the time to make the couple feel embarrassed or uncomfortable or to reference past relationships, significant others, etc. This will not be well received by the couple or the guests. 
3. Reference future children. This can be a very personal decision for couples, so it’s best to not bring it up. 

We hope you find these Dos and Donts helpful. Cheers! 

Author: Jodie Lupo Munson

Hi there! I’m Jodie. Particular Planner is a wedding & event planning company based in NJ, founded on the idea that event planning services should be accessible to all. Having a planner isn’t a luxury service, but a necessity. Let’s get started!